5 September 2010

my head is so heavy now.

went to visit a relative at the hospital back at my hometown.
i was doing a bit too much thinking...
about my life, about her, what will happen to her, the future, the move on, my death, my suicide i did while i was form3 and more, so much more.

then comes the heavy headache and nauseous feeling.
i feel i wanna puke at there.

i dunno why i'm thinking so much,
i mean,
i'm ready if she leaves us.

but it's so suffering to watch her like that.
she is gasping for air so hard.
she is awfully thin.
she is losing all her strength and energy.
she is unconscious.

she can't hear us.
i wish she could hear us, we told her to get well soon and we're gonna eat dim sum together again, or maybe for the last time.
yeah.. the last dim sum!

i think i need some rest...
i hope i still can wake up.
coz that's the everyday-blessing to me
to show that i'm still alive.

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